We've been in Provo, Utah for 3 weeks and 4 days. I wish I could say I've loved every bit about it, but I can't. I do have to say that it is beautiful here. The mountains are right next to us. I'll start with the good things about being here. I got a job! I work at an Endodontist office. Yep, root canals all day, every day. It's also nice to have stores that I know, especially Costco! The Costco here is even open on Sunday!
Alright, on to the hard part about being here. First off, I hardly see Evan. I get home around 6 and he either is at school for a pre-dental meeting, or doing homework. Then he works from 8-12. Next is, I honestly don't know how non-mormon people make friends here. On Sunday's I go to church with Evan, but during Relief Society (Mormon church is 3 hours, 1 hour the men and women are split up, 1 hour there are mixed gender classes, and the other hour is more like a typical church everyone meets in the chapel area) I feel like a complete outsider. There are at least 3 activities a week which the women participate it, which was made pretty clear today I was not invited to. The women also do a declaration which pretty much says their purpose in life is to respect their husbands and have babies. At the end of the lesson I had to leave to take a breather because the level of exclusion I felt being there was overwhelming. I had to tell 3 different people that I was a visitor today. I should have just said I'm not Mormon and I'm only here because my husband wants me to. It was like I had a communicable disease. One thing I struggle with is that my sister in law is in Relief Soceity with me, but not once has she talked to me during it, or tried to include me. Its like she doesn't want to associate with me because I'm not Mormon and she doesn't want the other women to know we are somehow related. Anyway, I talked with Evan and we decided I would not be going to relief society any more.
My new favorite activity, which Evan does not support, is non-mormon people spotting. Whenever I'm at a store I like to find all the people I can who are not mormon. Its much easier to spot non-mormon women. The big give aways are- wedding ring, but wearing a tank top or wedding ring with short shorts. I spot at least 5-10 when I go to Costco/Winco. Its somewhat comforting knowing I'm not alone.
I've only been here for a few weeks and am already feeling the Mormon Culture in its fullest. However, I hear it gets worse. I guess I'll let you know how it goes.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Our Story
I'm writing this blog mostly for myself. To keep track of everything we our doing and how this all began. It might be fun to look back on it some day.
This is my story about being Catholic and marrying a Mormon, our journey that brought us together, and my life in Utah.
I'm going to start this story off 7 years ago when I was 16 and met Evan. Evan and I were both lifeguards at a swimming pool in our city. I was crazy about him since the first day I met him, but I was an extremely shy 16 year old and would never act on it. I even helped another girl ask Evan to prom! The whole time I was wishing it was me who was asking, but oh well.
Evan and I started dating August 2007 and quickly fell in love with each other. August 2008 came along and Evan left for college. I was heart broken when he broke up with me when he left. Evan went to BYU in Provo, Utah and I stayed in Portland and went to Portland State University. He dated a little his first year at school (I hated every second of it) then he came back for summer and we started dating again.
In October 2009 Evan left for his mission to Orlando, Florida. The first 6 months after he left were the hardest of my life. I cried my eyes out every night for months. It was hard to be happy about anything. I had moved out of my parents house and in with a childhood friend whose parents gave her a house in Tigard, her name is Emily. Thankfully her parents only made me pay half of the utilities, which was an amazing deal. It ended up being about $120 per month.
Evan and I wrote each other daily while he was on his mission, but it was still hard not being able to contact him instantly if I needed something or was having a bad day.
While Evan was on his mission I dated two guys. One of the relationships only lasted a month because I couldn't stop thinking about Evan. The other one lasted longer, but once Evan got home from his mission I couldn't continue with that relationship. Evan has always been the boy I would drop everything for. I thought Evan would want to get back together once he was home, but after serving a mission for two year sharing his religion with others, it wasn't exactly ideal to be dating someone of a different religion. The next year we dated off and on, breaking up because religion time and time again.
Fast forward to January 2013, this was the first time Evan said we could go forward in our relationship even if I wasn't Mormon. So in February 2013 I went and visited him in Utah and our talks about marriage began. By the time the semester ended for him in April we knew we would be getting married, and on May 14, 2013 Evan proposed on the bottom of the outside stairs at my parents house, the same place he asked me out in August 2007.
Our wedding plans took a while to get started, but thankfully I have amazing friends that really made me get things going. I met with Megan in June and started getting all the details going. I met with Emily and she told me where to get invitations and gave me the fear I needed to get things going. She let me know just how far behind the game I was.
And finally August 31, 2013 came along and we got married on a hay farm in Hillsboro. The wedding day was very busy. Me and my bridesmaids got our nails done at 9:30, rushed to the Nines hotel in Portland and got ready, then I headed to our venue for pictures. The whole day seems like a blur. The biggest thing that went wrong was after Evan, his groomsmen and my bridesmaids where up at the alter, there was a misunderstanding between the guy playing the music and me. He was supposed to start playing the music then I was going to start walking in. He thought that he wasn't supposed to start the music until he saw me. Poor Evan was waiting up there for 3 minutes for me to come down the isle. I guess my Uncle George said a little too loud, " Maybe she changed her mind". Anyway the music finally came on, I walked down the isle and we got married.
The next day we packed up all of our belongings and bought everything we wanted but didn't get.
And then, Monday September 2, 2013 Evan and I drove to Utah (well Evan wouldn't let me drive with the U-haul, so just he drove). Before we even started driving I cried my eyes out. I love Oregon, I love Beaverton and I really didn't want to leave. Yea, it was probably time for me to get out and spread my wings, but I was pretty happy there, and I wasn't sure how far I could really spread my wings in Utah.
This is my story about being Catholic and marrying a Mormon, our journey that brought us together, and my life in Utah.
I'm going to start this story off 7 years ago when I was 16 and met Evan. Evan and I were both lifeguards at a swimming pool in our city. I was crazy about him since the first day I met him, but I was an extremely shy 16 year old and would never act on it. I even helped another girl ask Evan to prom! The whole time I was wishing it was me who was asking, but oh well.
Evan and I started dating August 2007 and quickly fell in love with each other. August 2008 came along and Evan left for college. I was heart broken when he broke up with me when he left. Evan went to BYU in Provo, Utah and I stayed in Portland and went to Portland State University. He dated a little his first year at school (I hated every second of it) then he came back for summer and we started dating again.
In October 2009 Evan left for his mission to Orlando, Florida. The first 6 months after he left were the hardest of my life. I cried my eyes out every night for months. It was hard to be happy about anything. I had moved out of my parents house and in with a childhood friend whose parents gave her a house in Tigard, her name is Emily. Thankfully her parents only made me pay half of the utilities, which was an amazing deal. It ended up being about $120 per month.
Evan and I wrote each other daily while he was on his mission, but it was still hard not being able to contact him instantly if I needed something or was having a bad day.
While Evan was on his mission I dated two guys. One of the relationships only lasted a month because I couldn't stop thinking about Evan. The other one lasted longer, but once Evan got home from his mission I couldn't continue with that relationship. Evan has always been the boy I would drop everything for. I thought Evan would want to get back together once he was home, but after serving a mission for two year sharing his religion with others, it wasn't exactly ideal to be dating someone of a different religion. The next year we dated off and on, breaking up because religion time and time again.
Fast forward to January 2013, this was the first time Evan said we could go forward in our relationship even if I wasn't Mormon. So in February 2013 I went and visited him in Utah and our talks about marriage began. By the time the semester ended for him in April we knew we would be getting married, and on May 14, 2013 Evan proposed on the bottom of the outside stairs at my parents house, the same place he asked me out in August 2007.
Our wedding plans took a while to get started, but thankfully I have amazing friends that really made me get things going. I met with Megan in June and started getting all the details going. I met with Emily and she told me where to get invitations and gave me the fear I needed to get things going. She let me know just how far behind the game I was.
And finally August 31, 2013 came along and we got married on a hay farm in Hillsboro. The wedding day was very busy. Me and my bridesmaids got our nails done at 9:30, rushed to the Nines hotel in Portland and got ready, then I headed to our venue for pictures. The whole day seems like a blur. The biggest thing that went wrong was after Evan, his groomsmen and my bridesmaids where up at the alter, there was a misunderstanding between the guy playing the music and me. He was supposed to start playing the music then I was going to start walking in. He thought that he wasn't supposed to start the music until he saw me. Poor Evan was waiting up there for 3 minutes for me to come down the isle. I guess my Uncle George said a little too loud, " Maybe she changed her mind". Anyway the music finally came on, I walked down the isle and we got married.
The next day we packed up all of our belongings and bought everything we wanted but didn't get.
And then, Monday September 2, 2013 Evan and I drove to Utah (well Evan wouldn't let me drive with the U-haul, so just he drove). Before we even started driving I cried my eyes out. I love Oregon, I love Beaverton and I really didn't want to leave. Yea, it was probably time for me to get out and spread my wings, but I was pretty happy there, and I wasn't sure how far I could really spread my wings in Utah.
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